Sunday, May 18, 2008

If The Centre County DA Was A Baseball Player, He Would Still Suck

How things like this can go on simply baffles me, I mean how bad do you have to be at your job to get fired? Apparently pretty bad.

Below is a complete list (I think) of charges filed against Penn State football players starting with the Scorotto thing. I found it on several message boards after a quick search, I've updated where appropriate:

1. Anthony P. Scirrotto - Burglary, criminal trespass, criminal solicitation, simple assault, harassment. - Dismissed
2. Chris I. Baker - Burglary, criminal trespass criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment - Dismissed
3. Jerome A. Hayes - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. - Dismissed
4. Justin King - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. - Dismissed
5. Tyrell A. Sales - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment - Dismissed
6. Lydell R. Sargeant - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment - Dismissed
7. Andrew Quarless - Underage Drinking - Guilty
8. Willie Harriot - Underage Drinking - Guilty
9. Austin Scott - Rape, Drugs[ed - really?] - Dismissed
10. Joe Suhey - Underage Drinking - Guilty
11. Ryan Breen - Underage Drinking - Guilty,
12. Joe Paterno - Road Rage - No Charges [ed - then why the hell is it on the list?]
13. Chris Baker - Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, - Essentially Dismissed
14. Navarro Bowman - Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, - Dismissed (I Think)
15. Knowledge Timmons - Disorderly conduct and defiant trespass - [ed - or more accurately, "Getting Really Pissed Off About Losing An iPhone" - Dismissed
16. Tyrell Sales ? Under age drinking 2008 ? Pending
....
So let's do some quick math, and to get back to the title of the post: If Centre County District Attorney Michael T. Madeira was a baseball player, and filing felony charges since 2007 against football players were "at bats", he would be batting zero.

For baseball stat-losers*, that's a .000 OBS, a .000 Slugging%, and, most importantly, an OPS+ of -73**.

As for the underages, I hate to sound dismissive about this, but they happen. There are too many reasons not to get worked up about them.


*Present company included.
**
Roughly...depends on what you consider a "strike out".

4 comments:

RexKramerDangerSeeker said...

I've wondered when someone would compose a post on Madeira's track record. Hell, he hasn't done much to find his much more respected predecessor (Gricar), so why assume that he can handle any case of notoriety? Me thinks the locals will be showing ol' Michael the door come next year.

Paterno Lives! said...

I sure hope so. I included the UA's for the sake of completenesses, but I probably should have mentioned that they actually don't have anything to do with the DA, I guess I made him look better than he really is (although it would be hard to make him look worse)...those are more common than parking tickets in State College and really shouldn't have been on my list...oh well.

Really like the blog, by the way.

Anonymous said...

And technically, Tyrell Sales in 2008 was in Allegheny County, not in Madeira's "court." In short, the DA gets a big zero.

Anonymous said...

Excellent post, Big Eleventh! You have to wonder how long this bozo can keep trying to ruin people's lives and get away with it.