Snow and DC

Note: This is not football related, at all. Just want to point that out before you leave with unwarranted expectations that I did not meet. For today's football related post, click here.

A conversation that happened in DC today...



NOVA Suburbanite: AHHH!!! IT'S SNOWING IN DC!!! SNOW! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!
DC Cab Driver: QUICK, EVERYONE FREAK THE FUCK OUT!!!! NOW!!
NOVA Suburbanite: I AM!!! I AM!!! SHIT, SNOW, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!
Paterno Lives!: Will everyone please calm the fuck down, it's just snow.
NOVA Suburbanite: CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN?!?! WHY DON'T YOU CALM DOWN, IT'S SNOWING ASS HOLE, I'M FREAKING OUT...I'D BETTER SPEED UP OR THINGS COULD REALLY GET CRAZY!!!
DC Cab Driver: GREAT IDEA, ME TOO, I'M GOING TO ALSO DRIVE WAY TOO FAST BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO HANDLE THE SNOW, MAYBE IF WE ALL SPEED AROUND OUR TIRES WILL GET REAL HOT AND THE SNOW WILL ALL JUST MELT!
Paterno Lives!: Please don't, that isn't a good way to handle this. Why doesn't everyone just drive normal, like you did yesterday, only maybe put your cell phones away. And you, NOVA Suburbanite, stop trying to read that book and drive.
NOVA Suburbanite: BUT THERE IS TRAFFIC, I ALWAYS READ IN TRAFFIC, AND IT'S SNOWING, SO YOU BET YOUR ASS THERE WILL BE TRAFFIC!
Paterno Lives!: Please man, just drive like a normal person and put the book down before you slam into me. You're in a fucking Escalade and you'll crush me.

NOVA Suburbanite eventually goes too fast on the highway and slides onto the shoulder after almost hitting the back of my car. He honks his horn for no reason at all. He then rides along the shoulder because this is obviously some kind of emergency that would require that kind of action. He never puts his book down.

Georgetown Old Man: DAMN IS IT SNOWING OUT HERE, BIG, UM, WHAT ARE THEY CALLED, FLAKES? IS THAT RIGHT, YA, SNOW FLAKES...LOOK AT ALL THESE SNOW FLAKES, I'M REALLY FREAKING OUT.
Paterno Lives!: Please old man, don't freak out, its just snow. You are old and probably can't drive anyway, so just stay inside until the one snow plow in this city gets out here.
Georgetown Old Man: NO, MY CAR IS PARKED ON A VERY STEEP HILL RIGHT NEXT TO THE KEY BRIDGE, I'D BETTER GET IT OFF THAT HILL OR SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN. YA, I'M GETTING MY KEYS AND MOVING THIS CAR OFF THIS REALLY STEEP HILL.
Paterno Lives!: OLD MAN! Stop that shit, if you move that care you are going to really fuck things up and I'm going to end up sitting on the Key Bridge for an hour while the police come out here and clean up your mess.

The Georgetown Old Man moves his car anyway. He gets about three turns out of the wheels and then starts sliding down the hill on 35th street, crashing into polls and other cars. He eventually ends up at the bottom of the hill, right where the Key Bridge let's you into DC. Traffic totally stops, the Police show up and don't let anyone move. The Old Man's car is sitting in the middle of the street, he gets out of it and leaves it there. I sit for an hour and wait for the carnage to be cleaned up by the police, who are in no hurry by the way.

Paterno Lives!: Damn you Old Man, Damn you! Damn this city!

Mallett's Dad, Part Duce

I normally wouldn't ever post twice about the father of a backup quarterback, but the guy leaves me no choice. My issue was that our buddy Jim needs to go away, either let his son answer questions truthfully or simply ignore the questions. Don't lie.

But now you continue your press grabbing deceit. While sources all over the Internet are reporting that your son has actually enrolled at Arkansas, you respond with this jem:

"We haven't made a decision yet, but everybody and their dog is saying my son has done this or that," Jim Mallett said Monday in an interview with The Associated Press. "We're getting calls from reporters at 1 o'clock in the morning, and those reporters are catching the wrath of my wife, Debbie.

Haha, your wife? You just brought you wife into this? And your dog? Or is it my dog? Who's talking, anyway? Now I'm confused.

God I love this story.

All streaks must come to an end...

Well, they are suppose to. There is one in particular that I am concerned with: Michigan's total dominance of PSU. We haven't beaten them in ten years.

10/14/2006 vs. *Michigan (11-2) L 10 17
10/15/2005 @ *Michigan (7-5) L 25 27
10/12/2002 @ *Michigan (10-3) L 24 27
10/6/2001 vs. *Michigan (8-4) L 0 20
11/11/2000 @ *Michigan (9-3) L 11 33
11/13/1999 vs. *Michigan (10-2) L 27 31
11/7/1998 @ *Michigan (10-3) L 0 27
11/8/1997 vs. *Michigan (12-0) L 8 34

By far the most painful moment of my undergraduate years was watching Hene's completion for the go-ahead score, in person, using clock time that should have never existed. Fucking Big Ten refs and their Michigan shrines.

Anyway, good news: Manningham, Arrington and Mallett are all leaving Michigan. Now I talked about Mallett leaving on the Rumor Rankings a couple of weeks ago, giving it a 5.1/5.0. Mallett's father quickly defended the prospect that his All-Texas son would have to leave. Well Paps, that's Rumor Rankings 1, Mallett's Old Man 0.

This year's #1 free agent, Ryan Mallett
As for the other two, that is a pleasant surprise. Losing an all world O lineman, shifty RB and dependable QB is one thing, but then to give up your entire receiving core is quite another. This offense is bare, I mean Penthouse bare, and while recruiting will no doubt be off the charts (Pryor is all but a lock at this point), even USC can't turn freshman into dependable production in one year.

Which leads to the final question: will we have the balls to attack Michigan this year while they are down?

Terrelle Pryor Is Headed to Michigan*

EDIT: For the latest update, click here.

*Probably, that is. And by probably, I mean most sources are saying there is a 99.2% chance, leaving Ohio State, Penn State, Florida and Oregon to split the other .8%.



Most of this speculation is coming from info leaked by Ohio State, who have all but given up recruiting the kid.

This is really too bad, I thought a player like Pryor could turn around our backwards offense and actually make Penn State games fun to watch. What I simply don't get, though, is that Ohio State seemed like the front runner when RichRod was still at WVU, but now that he's at Michigan, with no Noel Devine in the backfield, he thinks playing in a gimmick offense is all the sudden a good idea. I had heard from several different places that this was the exact thing that was keeping him from WVU, but now it's the number one issue.

Pryor had also talked about playing basketball during the winters. So how is Michigan's basketball program better than WVU? When they aren't cheating I mean. In addition, RichRod has a history of being very much against dual sport athletes. None of this adds up, which is of course why I am starting to believe it, and until Kirk Herbstreit reports it, I have a feeling Pryor will be at Michigan next fall.

Pryor adds Michigan to list

I hate following recruiting. The incentives for the list-makers are all fucked up, and besides that, if NFL scouts can't accurately rank a limited number of college seniors with the help of vast video and in person combines, how the hell can a bunch of poorly paid internet loser rank every single 18 year old kid playing football with any kind of accuracy.

Despite all of that I think Pryor is a program changer for us. Of all the recruiting races Penn State has been involved in over the past five years, this one is probably the only one I will admit to truly caring about.

So before RR called his players, or even his bosses at WVU, he called Pryor and told him to come to Michigan with him. Michigan is now on the short list along with Florida, OSU, PSU and Oregon.

"He called me this morning and told me before he announced to anyone," said Pryor. "He said he's keeping the same offense that he had at West Virginia because it's all he knows. I love that offense. I told him I was very interested."

The only problem I have here is that I've heard he lowered WVU on his list because he didn't want to become a system QB in college and be underdeveloped for the NFL.

A couple things piss me off about this whole situation. One is that RR played the 'I am at home card' last year when Bama came calling and bailed the very next season. Then, instead of just jumping ship like a man, he goes and calls all his recruits, think of it as a second kick in the balls.

"My list is made up of some of the same teams," Pryor said. "Ohio State is in there, Florida is in there and Penn State is in there, but now Oregon is in the mix and now Michigan - so a lot has changed. Tennessee and West Virginia are now out."

While I guess it's great that, despite our mediocrity the past two years, we are being considered with OSU and UF, I don't like our chances now that both Michigan and Oregon are also on the list.

Ala-ho Bowl

No, not the Hawaiian kind, the kind that sucks.

December 29th, you bring the bottle, I'll bring the negativity.

Yup, I can't wait to see what equally mediocre Big XII team we match up with this year. I suppose my hopes of the Cap One were a little lofty, but we are saying fuck it (or maybe the Cap One is saying buzz off) instead of seeing how the Illinois/Michigan situation pans out...I still stand by the opinion that we are more attractive than two-loss-in-a-row fell-to-app-state just-lost-their-coach douch-bag-winless-in-bowls-and-other-big-games Michigan.