If The Centre County DA Was A Baseball Player, He Would Still Suck

How things like this can go on simply baffles me, I mean how bad do you have to be at your job to get fired? Apparently pretty bad.

Below is a complete list (I think) of charges filed against Penn State football players starting with the Scorotto thing. I found it on several message boards after a quick search, I've updated where appropriate:

1. Anthony P. Scirrotto - Burglary, criminal trespass, criminal solicitation, simple assault, harassment. - Dismissed
2. Chris I. Baker - Burglary, criminal trespass criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment - Dismissed
3. Jerome A. Hayes - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. - Dismissed
4. Justin King - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. - Dismissed
5. Tyrell A. Sales - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment - Dismissed
6. Lydell R. Sargeant - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment - Dismissed
7. Andrew Quarless - Underage Drinking - Guilty
8. Willie Harriot - Underage Drinking - Guilty
9. Austin Scott - Rape, Drugs[ed - really?] - Dismissed
10. Joe Suhey - Underage Drinking - Guilty
11. Ryan Breen - Underage Drinking - Guilty,
12. Joe Paterno - Road Rage - No Charges [ed - then why the hell is it on the list?]
13. Chris Baker - Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, - Essentially Dismissed
14. Navarro Bowman - Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, - Dismissed (I Think)
15. Knowledge Timmons - Disorderly conduct and defiant trespass - [ed - or more accurately, "Getting Really Pissed Off About Losing An iPhone" - Dismissed
16. Tyrell Sales ? Under age drinking 2008 ? Pending
....
So let's do some quick math, and to get back to the title of the post: If Centre County District Attorney Michael T. Madeira was a baseball player, and filing felony charges since 2007 against football players were "at bats", he would be batting zero.

For baseball stat-losers*, that's a .000 OBS, a .000 Slugging%, and, most importantly, an OPS+ of -73**.

As for the underages, I hate to sound dismissive about this, but they happen. There are too many reasons not to get worked up about them.


*Present company included.
**Roughly...depends on what you consider a "strike out".