If The Centre County DA Was A Baseball Player, He Would Still Suck

How things like this can go on simply baffles me, I mean how bad do you have to be at your job to get fired? Apparently pretty bad.

Below is a complete list (I think) of charges filed against Penn State football players starting with the Scorotto thing. I found it on several message boards after a quick search, I've updated where appropriate:

1. Anthony P. Scirrotto - Burglary, criminal trespass, criminal solicitation, simple assault, harassment. - Dismissed
2. Chris I. Baker - Burglary, criminal trespass criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment - Dismissed
3. Jerome A. Hayes - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. - Dismissed
4. Justin King - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. - Dismissed
5. Tyrell A. Sales - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment - Dismissed
6. Lydell R. Sargeant - Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment - Dismissed
7. Andrew Quarless - Underage Drinking - Guilty
8. Willie Harriot - Underage Drinking - Guilty
9. Austin Scott - Rape, Drugs[ed - really?] - Dismissed
10. Joe Suhey - Underage Drinking - Guilty
11. Ryan Breen - Underage Drinking - Guilty,
12. Joe Paterno - Road Rage - No Charges [ed - then why the hell is it on the list?]
13. Chris Baker - Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, - Essentially Dismissed
14. Navarro Bowman - Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, - Dismissed (I Think)
15. Knowledge Timmons - Disorderly conduct and defiant trespass - [ed - or more accurately, "Getting Really Pissed Off About Losing An iPhone" - Dismissed
16. Tyrell Sales ? Under age drinking 2008 ? Pending
....
So let's do some quick math, and to get back to the title of the post: If Centre County District Attorney Michael T. Madeira was a baseball player, and filing felony charges since 2007 against football players were "at bats", he would be batting zero.

For baseball stat-losers*, that's a .000 OBS, a .000 Slugging%, and, most importantly, an OPS+ of -73**.

As for the underages, I hate to sound dismissive about this, but they happen. There are too many reasons not to get worked up about them.


*Present company included.
**Roughly...depends on what you consider a "strike out".

If at first you don't succeed

Welcome to the first drunk post of the holidays. Its a wonderful time indeed.

So lets get down to the point of the post, which does, in fact, relate to the title.

The Centre County DA has refiled federal charges against Bowmand and Baker. Now I'm not here to defend these guys, especially Baker, but come the fuck on.

The DA has a history of picking on football players. In just the past 2 or 3 years you can come up with half a dozen examples. Now I know football player, historically, tend to get the benifit of the doubt, but I would argue in S.C. they do not. Mr. [name redacted], you swung for the fenses. The judge, without the case even going to trial, told you to go F yourself. So what do you do? You re-file the charges like a five year old.

According to Baker's lawyer:

"The commonwealth is abusing its authority and has selectively identified two individuals it believes is responsible for these alleged crimes, and is shirking its responsibility to bring everyone responsible into court."