Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady!

Penn State will face Illinois today in the first round of the Big Ten Tournament and attempt to make them their bitch for the third time this year (get it? three times a lady? lame?).

Tip off is at 2:30, which gives us all a convenient way to check out from work for the day during mid-afternoon. Hooray headphones!

Game one of this pillow fight ended 68-64 with Cornley leading the team in points, assists and rebounds. Both him and Claxton managed double-doubles...both will obviously be absent today.

Game two, plays in Happy Valley, was the same result but a totally different cast. The game ended 52-51 with Penn State shooting .400 from behind the three point line. It was Battle's turn to own that night, leading the team in the three major categories. He also hit both his free throws with 7 seconds left to tie and then capture the lead.

So today? I don't really have anything interesting to add. The Indiana win was big...very big considering the talent gap and age of our starters. So what about winning that always difficult third game in a row? Well if this was an NFL game, is sounds like that's a myth. The NFL and NCAA basketball are pretty much the same thing, so the odds are in our favor.

Check back at 2:30 and I'll attempt to post a radio link.

UPDATE: As promised, for you stuck at work, listen here.

LATER, MORE DISAPPOINTING UPDATE: Psych! Despite the fact that they advertise that they broadcast PSU basketball games, and further that their own schedule states that the game is on-air, it is, in fact, not.

This list at GoPSUSports gives over 50 affiliated radio stations, but not one of them is actually airing the game. The Man really fucked us on this one.

Let The Third Season Begin!

After failing the first two, Penn State is ready for phase three to begin. This is also known as "The Big Ten Tournament" for you non-basketball gurus.

For Penn State coach Ed DeChellis, conference tournaments are the start of what he calls the "third season."

"It's pretty big," DeChellis said at Monday's press conference. "You're trying to play in the NCAA tournament. It's important, because we're not there. So, we got one more chance and you got to try to put all your eggs in one basket." -Daily Collegian

Very....interesting. Making it sound like you were saving your energy during the first two "seasons". I like this approach.

Reporter: "So coach, 86-49, what gives?"

DeChellis: "Patience, my young one, the third season is nearly upon us!"

Well I'm buying, what the hell. The great/terrible thing about basketball is that, until this Thursday (and really, not until next Thursday) games simply don't matter. Teams are truly 0-0...which is good news for us.

Talent Gap Maybe?

The All-Big Ten awards are out, and between first, second, third, honorable mention, all defense and all freshman, only now-injured Jamelle Cornley was given any recognition: third team, which somehow has six members. Compare that with three and four awards for some of the better programs and we have ourselves a good o'l fashion talent gap.

Wow, two basketball posts in one day. Things really must be turning around!

Cornley Does Not Return, PSU Beats Hoosiers Anyway

You would normally read the first part of that and wait for some kind of "gets asses kicked by" but not so fast my friend!

I wanted to show a cell phone shot from Sunday of the fans rushing the court, but it appears one doesn't exist. Instead here is Lee dropping an F-Bomb on live television

Despite being 12 point dogs at home, and despite losing what most thought were the only two talented players on the squad, Penn State was the better, more composed team on Sunday and beat their second ranked opponent of the year.

You really have to stop and wonder what this team could have done with both Cornley and Claxton, but then again you have to like what a team lead by a couple of freshman will be able to achieve in the future. Getting hopes up is a dangerous activity, especially Penn State basketball hopes, but I don't think there has been a move appropriate time to go ahead and say fuck it. They've won three of their last four and will finish 7th in the Big Ten.

They'll take on Illinois, a team they've beaten twice, in the first round of the Big Ten tournament.

It's Your Friday Noon News!

I don't do much on this site to cover other sports, mostly because I don't have much access to them, but let's go a head and check in on the Penn State athletes that aren't getting pulled over drunk or stomping on people's faces, allegedly.

-Penn State Icers End Streak The Icers, who play at the club level despite drawing more fan fare than the basketball team, ended an era last weekend. The team went into the national tournament ranked #3 and carried in a streak of 11 straight championship game appearances. All that ended against Liberty with 4-1 upset.

-Wrestlers Ready For Big Ten Championship The #6 ranked wrestling team will be bringing an entire roster of ranked wrestlers into the Big Ten Tournament. Minnesota, Iowa and Illinois are doing the same. The Big Ten is totally loaded this year (well, every year) and the Nittany Lions have never won the thing. Make sure to check in with Nick Galen over at the Nittany Line who does a great job of covering the squad all year long.

-Worst Season Evvvaaa The Lady Lions basketball team ended the worst season in their history with a 64-54 loss to Michigan. The game caped a 12 game skid. Fittingly, they still managed to finish ahead of Northwestern in the standings.

The Best Of The Worst

I have to say, I'm impressed. When Claxton went down earlier in the season things were looking pretty bleak. I actually listened to most of a PSU v. Iowa game that went like this:

18:09 left in 1st half: losing 0-5
10:21 left in 1st half: losing 2-13
05:07 left in 1st half: losing 9-26
18:05 left in 2st half: losing 21-32
06:27 left in 2st half: losing 37-51
00:00 left in 2st half: losing 49-64

Well it took some time, but we got it together on the return trip and even stole enough money out of the THON jars to pay off the refs:



But seriously, there are other things going on here that Iowa fans should be worrying about.*

So with that win, and another against Michigan, Penn State finds itself the best of the crappy teams...an embarrassingly large improvement...but I'll take it.

The current "Bottom 5" standing look like this:

1. Penn State
2. Iowa
3. Michigan
4. Illinois
5. Northwestern

(You see how I did that, how I took out the other 6 teams and made PSU #1? Nice, huh?)

So there it is, Iowa, Michigan and Illinois all have to deal with the fact that they are worse than the the team everyone picks to finish last that has a real hard time beating Northwestern on a yearly basis.

Now I know that writing this posts guarantees a first round exit in Big Ten Tournament, but it's not very often I get to tell other schools their basketball program is worse than ours and so it is necessary.


*I realized after publish that I probably should condition this comment by saying that I don't really know anything about Iowa's flaws. I just thought I'd try to defend crappy officiating.

Lesser Of Two Evils

Thanks to BHGP for informing me that there was a Penn State basketball game last night. I don't know if that's a sad commentary on my fandom or the state of the basketball team...either way it's kind of pathetic.

Anyway, Penn State won a close one...but no one cared. ESPN didn't bother to proof read the game re-cap:

Penn State led 31-30 at the half but trailed for much of the second period after the Hawkeyes went on an early 17-0 run to grab a 42-31 lead with 17:18 left. Dan Bohall made four straight free throws to give Iowa a 64-57 lead with 2:40 remaining.

I actually stopped listening after the 9-0 run to start the half, but I really regret turning off the feed because listening to how Iowa could go on a 17-0 run but only score 12 points would have been awesome.

WTF?

Michigan State? Really? Awesome.

Mike over at BSD has the BTN, so for a great explanation as to how this happened, head over there.

I was out, passed by a TV showing highlights and instantly began to wonder how I was able to get that drunk off of three beers. Can't be, I thought. I was wrong. Penn State somehow knocked off the the #8 team in the nation.

So what's the basketball version of this thing?

I just miss posting this trophy up on the site, it's ugliness is unrivaled

Penn State Trys

I did something I've never done before: I listened to an entire PSU basketball game on the radio (via the Internet, of course). Here are some second half notes I made while working listening to the game (radio quotes in italics):

Target 10 was a failure. Total attendance was listed as 10,956. That includes the 1,000 tickets the Big Ten Network bought, plus all the alum ticket 'sales' to old people who live (and are) in Virginia. I don't know how many people actually showed up, but I'm pretty sure it was a lot less than 10,956. To give you some perspective, the VT game this year had just over nine thousand, and the home game against Minnesota was listed at 10,934.

I have a feeling the $75 they make from the Michigan State game will go to THON anyway, but no one will care because that's about 00.00125% of what they are going to pull in this year.

Two random 1st Half stats:
-PSU commits one turnover.
-PSU outscores OSU in fast break points 15-2 in the 1st half (PSU has averaged 10 per game).

"PSU is out hustling OSU. They must out hustle them, it is one of the keys to winning this game." This is when I decided to listen to the rest of the game.

"I haven't seen this much zone since Syracuse played themselves." Haha, good one [looking around the room, pretending I get it].

Andrew Jones is playing his ass off.

"PSU must hold on from the 12 to 8." He is talking about the time on the clock. Apparently they didn't against Indiana and the game got out of hand. This kind of "12-8" nonsense is what radio people love to say because it sounds good but doesn't really have much factual basis. The thing is he might actually be on to something.

Ed doesn't buy it and puts the subs in at 12. Things immediately get out of hand. We can't even score. He was forced to call a timeout.

12:00 to go, down 45-44
08:00 to go, down 52-44

Wow, radio guy says to hold on from 12 to 8 and PSU doesn't score one single point.

You know things aren't looking good when the local radio guy starts sentence with "If you are a long range Penn State basketball fan, you like...."

PSU just fouled OSU 5 times in 16 seconds.

Well, that was fun...sort of. I was harsh earlier in the week, but the team woke up and gave it a good shot last night. That's really all you can ask. This is at least a step in the right direction.

Down 2-0...Game Must Be Over

I know Claxton is out for the season, and as the then second leading scorer in the Big Ten, this was a devastating blow, but come on. You guys were playing Iowa. Iowa! They were 2-5 in the Big Ten leading up to this game and very beatable. So instead of taking advantage of the opportunity to end a long and painful losing streak, Penn State lays a total egg.

18:09 left in 1st half: losing 0-5
10:21 left in 1st half: losing 2-13
05:07 left in 1st half: losing 9-26
18:05 left in 2st half: losing 21-32
06:27 left in 2st half: losing 37-51
00:00 left in 2st half: losing 49-64

Two points in the first 10 minutes? You guys might not have all been five star recruits, but you were good enough in high school to earn a full scholarship at a Big Ten school, and two points in ten minutes means you just don't give a shit. Iowa isn't that good.

Not that I didn't know this team was done trying. I figured that out when I read this over at BSD:

"At one point they zoomed in on Cornley's shoe where he had written "Geezy #5" on them as a tribute to Geary Claxton. Hey Mel, he's not dead you know. He's sitting right there on the bench. I saw him."

Mike lays it out perfectly there (which isn't a surprise). Injuries happen, ya it's sad but it doesn't mean you have to give up against Iowa after they pull ahead 2-zip.

There are a lot of things wrong with the program: the coach, the venue, the alum ticket policy, recruiting, the fact football casts a large shadow, I can go all day...but the reality is nothing will change until the players and coaches start dealing with a little adversity.

Quck Hitter: Timmons, Baker, Bowman & Basketball

Timmons, Baker, and Bowman are off the team. Some are saying they might return, but only because no one has specifically said otherwise. This whole thing has been a long and drawn out story, there were two very embarrassing incidents and about 15 "breaking news" stories on the MSM sites. Hopefully this one will be the last. Everyone needs to grow the fuck up.

Moving on...


I was sitting on a couch one December and turned on the Penn State-Northwestern basketball game. Here is the situation:

The first half is coming to a close, I cannot remember the score but it was close in a very non-competitive way. Northwestern is bringing the ball up the court, attempting to get one final shot off before intermission. The unathletic guard attempts to pass the ball down low but fails. The ball misses the intended target completely and flies out of bounds. The announcers are handed a piece of paper from the stat guy and proclaim: This game has now tied the Big Ten record for most turnovers in a half.

If you thought the story was over there, you were wrong. There are 5 seconds remaining and Penn State has an inbound below their own basket. The play is a Hail Mary to the other side of the court. With no one guarding the inbounder, the Penn State player throws the ball 6 rows deep in the stands, near midcourt. It never even bounced in bounds. No time had run off the clock. I was dumbfounded. Not even in my 5th grade rec league games did I ever witness such horrible basketball.

This, my friends, catapulted this game into sole posession of the record, it would stand alone for most turnovers in one half...and what a way to seal the deal.

Anyway, that was the worst basketball game, to this day, I have ever watched. Tomorrow night's game might be worse.

Update: I'll admit this post kind of sucks, but you have to admit I was right. That Iowa game was dogshit.

How Bad is Penn State Basketball?

So bad that, instead of bragging about how Purdue kicked the Nittany Lion's ass with a bunch of freshman, Boiled Sports decided that Youtube highlights of Mike "A-Train" Alstott runing over helpless Hoosiers on AstroTurf was the only thing worth commenting on today.

For those of you interested in the carnage, here's your recap. I made an attempt at a basketball analysis piece but just couldn't stomach it after the second paragraph. Speaking of something that will make your stomach hurt, this will give you motion sickness. It is just as ridiculous as last nights contest, but a lot more fun to watch.

The original version of "basketball on grass":

Where Are They Now: Jan Jagla

This came up in a conversation today so I feel obligated to pass it along. In involves a very a very large European who once stood damn near up to the ceiling on my buddie's living room wall:

Ok, this isn't the actual poster that I remember, but instead is Jan standing next to a grown ass man who comes up to his knees.
I wondered whatever happen to him, I mean 7 foot tall people don't just disappear, do they? Per his wikipedia page, which was apparently written by his mother:

Jan-Hendrik Jagla (born June 25, 1981 in Berlin, Germany) is a German professional basketball player. He spent three seasons (2001/02-2003/04) at the Pennsylvania State University in University Park, Pennsylvania before turning pro. He went undrafted in the 2005 NBA Draft. He was signed by the Los Angeles Clippers for their 2005 training camp, but cut from the roster later. Though he stands 7 feet tall, Jan has the game of a 2-guard, and his game much resembles that of Dirk Nowitzki. Jan was also known to be a point forward in his college days, and would regularly bring the ball up the floor....He played for Türk Telekom B.K. of the Turkish premier division with high expectations for the 2006/2007 season. He is currently playing for Joventut Badalona from Spain. [emphasis added]

Dirk Nowitzki? Ok, my hockey game "much resembles" that of Paul Coffey, only I am not as quick, strong or smart. My shot is also much weaker and I do not have his vision. I also do not have my own line of hockey sticks...all minor details.

While that's all good stuff, this is the best part:

Always a fan favorite at Penn State, Jagla could often be seen at local bars and nightclubs, where he was eager to sign autographs. In fact, fans so loved the 7 foot star that Penn State's Student Bookstore ran a promotional campaign passing out Jagla "Measure Up" posters at Penn State Basketball games

So there is the "Measure Up" poster I was talking about (but cannot find, anyone with better search skills is encouraged to email me a link). I do remember seeing Jan often, but I think is was more a function of his height than anything else. As for the rest of it, I don't have much to add except that everyone at Penn State can "often be seen at local bars" and as far as I know there are no "nightclubs" in State College (for the record, a bar with black lights is not a nightclub, it is a bar).