By The Time This Gets To Your Reader

Terrelle Pryor will have pulled off the greatest mind-fuck of all time. Committing to Ohio State despite our greatest efforts to convince ourselves Penn State had a shot. The OSU Media Relations program is eagerly awaiting his enrollment in courses.

There are rumors he delayed his decision in order to soften his reception at the BJC during his high school playoff run. While this makes sense at first, most of the students were on break over the weekend. Although the fact that he never took his 'official' to Penn State or Oregon does lend some credibility to this.

I was never concerned about not getting Pryor as a commitment, the issue is that I don't know if I really want to watch Penn State play against him.

Monday Quick Hitters

Why They Told You When You Were Six To Skate With Your Head Up.

"In News You've Already Heard..."

-Michigan is like the rest of the country now. Delany can eat shit (something I've always thought, ever since the "open list of excuses letter").

-Pryor is going to Ohio State because they light more cars on fire there. There are also a lot more parking lots. They do not have their own government or social class system like the great Commonwealth. All of these things make Columbus much less of "a country" than State College.

-The former Nittany Lion mascot once thought up the idea of broadcasting sports on TV and is now suing the BTN.

-I'm eating Chipotle for the 7th business day in a row. I don't care if it's not 'authentic', it good. Period.

Guys, Don't Worry About Pryor [Enter Jack Nicholson]

He's required to take Anger Management classes. His whole team, actually. Well, both teams.

PUNISHMENT 1. Players and coaches from both teams must attend anger-management classes by the end of the school year. 2. All athletic programs at both schools are on two years' probation. 3. Coaches, principals and athletic administrators were publicly censured. 4. Both schools must give the WPIAL a written plan on how to make sure this won't happen again. Jeannette's plan is due today.

No word yet on whether this will be 'double secret probation' or just the regular thing.

Two awesome things about this decision. First, the word censure. Secondly, the written letter and making sure "this won't happen again". Seems 3rd grade to me I guess.

Well, I guess this is a good time: why the hell is Penn State getting so much slack for this? Everyone knows he hasn't committed, right? And that Ohio State is still the lead dog? Or am I missing something?