Quarless Fail Idiot Test, Scores Points For Team

I wasn't going to even post on this because I'm not as good at making fun of these things as Orson is, but just for the record, here is my understanding of how this is scored.

According to the story, he has been charged with:

DUI: This is a standard two point score. It happens all the time, even to God's team, so this one is easy.

DUI as a minor: This is the monkey wrench...I'm not sure you can be convicted of DUI and DUI as a minor...however to be honest I'm really just making shit up at this point.

failing to obey traffic control signals: I've done a little research and I'm not sure this is a Fulmer Cup worthy offense, zero points.

underage drinking: Classified as Drankin', one point.

TOTAL: So I guess I'm going with three points on this, up to five if the double-DUI thing sticks. I'll be sure to keep you all updated with EDSBS's official ruling.

Fulmer Cup Update: Penn State On The Board, Sort Of

Photo via EDSBS

Just eight short days after the announcement of the Fulmer Cup Theme Song, Penn State is on the board. Last year's runner-up makes the top five despite not scoring a single point, which is...impressive?

Well, the replay official in the booth can't decide if Baker being re-ordered to stand trial, an offense that was perpetrated last season and scored then as well, should be allowed to re-count.

My take? I'm with EDSBS on this one, it's a tough call. On one side, you have the kid showing up on ESPN every month for the same crime, so to simple count it as one assault appears to understate the stupidity of the whole thing. Then again, just because they show the replay of a late first half touchdown in the third quarter doesn't mean said team should be allowed an additional six points on the scoreboard.

For the record, we were this close to having a full blown Big Ten Fulmer Cup Preview with some of our Big Ten brotherin, but like the 2007 Penn State football team, it lacked leadership (my fault) and therefore never reached it's full potential. Look for some kind of mid-Fulmer season poll down the road...